Patience
Patience is a virtue. It’s a very popular saying, and since I was a very popular kid[1] I practiced patience every chance I got. As a chubby kid I had patience waiting for years to get girls’ attention. As a nerdy kid I had patience in waiting for the principal to let me out of the locker. As an adult kid I have the patience to sit through an entire movie without taking a bathroom break. My mom would be so proud.
Patience can be a great asset as a kid, especially when the summer neighborhood games begin. The summer neighborhood games, I assume a universal suburban tradition, is a massive scale game of capture the flag, hide-n-seek, or the very popular game “Noah’s sister is changing in the basement let’s see if she left the curtain open.”[2] Usually though it was hide-n-seek, at night of course. It’s more fun at night. I don’t know why more parents don’t let their kids run around at night trying to find places to hide in strangers’ yards. Patience comes into play when you’re a super good hider, or when your “friends” aren’t really looking for you. I prefer to think I was a very good hider. It could be a full hour before anybody finds you. That’s a long time for a non-patient kid to wait. Fortunately for me, I was accustomed to sitting quiet, all by myself, for extended periods of time.[3] My best hiding place ever for nighttime hide-n-seek was also my worst hiding place ever for daytime hide-n-seek: The middle of the front yard. I wore all black, like an 11 year old ninja who may have been like 14. I don’t remember. Memory skills are not part of the ninja skill set. I lied face down in the grass and had to hold back laughing at the “finders” as they walked right past me repeatedly. Patience won out, or more accurately, I won out. I won the game, with patience.
Patience in hiding has also back fired on me. I was lying down behind the couch one day. I don’t know why, probably because I’m weird. I’m going to say I was reading a book, but anybody who knew me back then would know I was not reading a book.[4] My mom yelled down the stairs for me to come up for dinner. I did not go. She told me it was dinner time again. I still did not go, nor did I respond. I was pretty sure this was going to be a hilarious prank. The kind of prank where my mother has no idea where her 10 year old son is. Nothing could go wrong.
She made her way downstairs, found nobody. Went upstairs, found nobody. Went into the living room, found nobody. Patience is a virtue, so I remained silent as she called for me. Now my Dad gets in on the action. “Chris! Where are you?!” “Chris!?” So funny. After 10-15 minutes of patience induced panic, I decided it was time for dinner.[5] When they saw me, they were furiously happy. Apparently, when a parent thinks their kid is missing they get very sad but when they realize it was all a prank they get very upset, which is like being sad but louder. So patience may be a virtue, but apparently virtues can ruin a day. At the very least ruin what could have been a nice tuna noodle casserole dinner. According to the rules, I did the right thing. No matter what, just keep waiting.
Nice Article like it
ReplyDelete