My Day as a Homeless Man

Once in awhile, a man awakes to find his world has changed drastically. Through those changes, he learns. He empathizes. He...

Baths in the Chesapeake Bay

Saturday morning I woke up homeless. No place to stay, no change of clothes, and a stench that would make a unicorn cry...if the Nazis hadn't killed them all in '37. The media gives homelessness a bad name. My experience was completely different than all these Hollywood Hobos who are down on their luck and never have any fun. I for one had nothing but fun. I went to the beach to skip stones. I played drums for a school of fish in a wetland. <-- that sounds like a lie, but i did it. Fish, me, drum sticks, rocking out. I took a nap on a bench, and then again on an unmade bed in an abandoned room. I even got somebody to pay for a movie ticket, and drank alcohol for seven hours. Its hard to feel sad about not having a home with beer in your system.

The best part about being homeless for the day was going home and sleeping in my warm bed. Traveling on foot and drinking beer really takes it out of you. Come to think of it, maybe I wasn't homeless...I was just on vacation. The lines between the two are a little blurry.

In both cases you pee in the water

Goodnight.