Snow Storm with Clever Name 2010

To everybody I saw at the grocery store the day before the snow hit:

There is no way you were going to run out of food and die. You live in DC, you can walk to food. Also, Pizza chains were still making deliveries. Ridiculous. (but yes, I was also there)

To the one guy at the store on his emergency run who decided he needed to have a fresh, uncut pineapple:

I respect you.

Megan Fox Naked (do i spell this differently every time?)

If you don't have anything nice to say...

...don't say anything at all:

Kittens playing in a field of gerbera daisies, feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries while building homes for the less fortunate.

I would say that qualifies as a nice thing to say, if not the nicest thing. (would be nicer if I was involved, preferably barefoot and innocent eyed...eating veal.)

The Thing and I

I opened this blog window, convinced that If its open I will write something. anything. nothing. everything. bathing. seething. breathing. clothing. loathing. soothing. teething. writhing. <--thanks wiki answers.

words ending in thing.

I just had a movie moment, looking for inspiration around the room. If somebody would have asked me my name just now, and I wanted to lie, I would have to say: Me? My name? Its...Aspirin Pileoflaundrytrashvodka. Kind of just rolls off the tongue.

I did not go out last night, but was awake until 3 in the a.m. playing video games and eating pretzel salt. And yes, I do realize how cool this post makes me look. I really wish I could buy a bag of pretzels without getting so many pretzels. I would eat spoonfuls of pretzel crumbs mixed with salt. Maybe put it in a bowl, add milk, like some sort of heart attack waiting to happen breakfast cereal.

Im done, Meagan Fox naked.

http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

I'd imagine a url is the best way to title a blog post. This url in particular leads to an essay way funnier, cleverier, and hungrier than anything I could ever write. That includes my most genius blog that involved the word cleverier.

I am currently concentrating on a new project. It is probably the most difficult thing I have undertaken since finishing my senior thesis. I've been drawing up matrices, graphing out projections, and writing three page persuasive papers...all with the ultimate goal of deciding which songs to buy with my itunes gift card. This is no joke, you need to be very careful choosing songs. Your reputation lives and dies with your itunes library. There is nothing more intimate than letting somebody surf your music collection. I've seen marriages torn apart by the likes of 98 degrees and sarah bareilles.

I Do Cherish You?! I don't even know you anymore!

I would rather a girl goes through my text messages on a first date than go through my music. Im not ready to explain why 30% of my music is Ska and how I feel like Norah Jones just gets me.

Spread the process out over a couple days to diversify the moods you are in, or fall to what I like to call the Dashboard Confessional trap:

I got an itunes gift card when I was feeling a little bit emo, aka newly single. I spent $25 on songs like Vindicated and others titled like "the saddest song" & "why are you doing this to me I thought we were forever" <---that one might be made up, but i did purchase the saddest song. gimme a break.

Megan Fox Naked.

As You Wish...A Blog Requested by @Aaronswray

Apparently when you ask Twitter what to write about, they answer:

Cary Elwes movies

Here we go...

I would be lying if I said I didn't have to IMDB the name, although I could easily pick him out of a police lineup. I haven't seen him acting much lately, so that might be the first place I would look for him. I should be nicer about this, considering he was in one of the finer films of the millennium prior to the Willenium (which is still going strong, although I have dibs on the next thousand years...dont be greedy Mr. Smith. ) Robin Hood, Men in Tights. I learned a lot from this film...like what it means to get circumcised, crossing rivers is easy, and foxes sound like Dolphins.

Cary was a cotton headed ninny muggins in Twister. He was all flash and heart. All he had was money, great equipment, a competent team, and stunning good looks <--wait, were we supposed to root against this guy? He was also in the smash hit Hot Shots! Which as we all know is Charlie Sheen's best known work...apart from his more indie work portfolio of domestic abuse and drugs.

Boom Roasted, Charlie Sheen.

He also had a huge part in Dracula, where he clearly was able to feed off of the acting prowess of Keanu Reeves. (I actually never saw it, Keanu was in it right?...I don't care, whoa Socrates). If you have ever read this before, or have talked to me for more than 3 minutes you know I think Keanu is a top 10 actor of my generation (seriously) (no joke) (I believe this) which makes Cary top 40 by proxy.

Glory was probably one of his more prominent roles...that I haven't seen. Although speaking of Glory: One time some friends were playing Scene it, the popular DVD quiz game where you guess the movie title given certain clues. This one clue was an audio clip of a big speech in Glory, very heart felt, and very confident in himself my friend screams out...i know this one, Nutty Professor. Now, I know I have not seen Glory...but Im fairly certain the plot lines, and general structure of the two movies is not similar (although im sure there is a lot of farting in Glory also).

Most great actors get into directing, which is exactly what Cary did. I hear he was runner up around 7 times for nominations in the directing category...each time for his work with...

....wait for it...

its that good....

PINKY & THE BRAIN

Narf

This post had no point, no thesis statement, but gosh darn it Cary Elwes...I salute you.
::insert picture here::

Meagan Fox Naked. (It means goodbye...honestly, it will catch on)