Apathy: a magazine about nothing...which along with being imaginary, made a cool $1.7 billion in my mind.
Whats the problem with magazines these days? Print media has been rendered useless by free information on the internet. So what is the solution for print media?
Write about things that nobody would ever search for online
Cover article, issue #1: "Getting the flat fork"
The favorite part of any school day is hands down, lunch. Friends, food, and a nice break in between naps. But what happens when it turns sour, like the milk you bought at the beginning of the semester that you swore you would drink because Oreos are bound to be on sale soon. Lunch in one moment, as your eyes hit the line to see seven different types fried food, is glorious. Until you sit down to dig in to that freshly made mama's famous meatloaf and something is a little off. THE FORK IS FLAT. How does that even happen, are there people eating food heavy enough to affect the basic form of the metal dinnerware? Some fat kid who refuses to stop at pound cake, and moves on to 15 pound cake? The flat fork affects the entire day. How can you be expected to learn about accounting when you've spent an entire hour feeling self concious about your untensils. Nobody makes fun of you, but you know everybody is making fun of you. Thousands of chances for a regular fork, and with on reckless selection, an instant outkast is born. Those odds are outstanding, its like winning the lottery...if lottery winnings were terrible and makes eating peas difficult.
Cover article, issue #1: "Getting the flat fork"
The favorite part of any school day is hands down, lunch. Friends, food, and a nice break in between naps. But what happens when it turns sour, like the milk you bought at the beginning of the semester that you swore you would drink because Oreos are bound to be on sale soon. Lunch in one moment, as your eyes hit the line to see seven different types fried food, is glorious. Until you sit down to dig in to that freshly made mama's famous meatloaf and something is a little off. THE FORK IS FLAT. How does that even happen, are there people eating food heavy enough to affect the basic form of the metal dinnerware? Some fat kid who refuses to stop at pound cake, and moves on to 15 pound cake? The flat fork affects the entire day. How can you be expected to learn about accounting when you've spent an entire hour feeling self concious about your untensils. Nobody makes fun of you, but you know everybody is making fun of you. Thousands of chances for a regular fork, and with on reckless selection, an instant outkast is born. Those odds are outstanding, its like winning the lottery...if lottery winnings were terrible and makes eating peas difficult.
Just slip it in your pocket, pretend you forgot to get a fork.
Work week coming up. Ghuda Night
Work week coming up. Ghuda Night
The flat fork. That kid always gets laughed at.
ReplyDeleteKinda like a typo on your fortune cookie...
ReplyDelete