"I have a bone to pick with you, you are kind of a dick when you tell jokes...it was funny
but that's not you."
Touchez miss thang. You may be onto something. Is it really believable that I would womanize (woman being loosely defined as girls, ages of 3 to 55), or make jokes about...okay maybe they were mostly about womanizing.
The truth is I know little about hitting on girls, and have been only mildly successful in my endeavors. (until I hit the jackpot with my JM...identity is being protected so all the men won't go and hit on my beautiful girl on facebook: Oops, don't write "you look pretty" on this girl's wall ) I should tell jokes I know, like being a loser, never getting dates, and having arthritis as a teenager.
but that's not you."
Touchez miss thang. You may be onto something. Is it really believable that I would womanize (woman being loosely defined as girls, ages of 3 to 55), or make jokes about...okay maybe they were mostly about womanizing.
The truth is I know little about hitting on girls, and have been only mildly successful in my endeavors. (until I hit the jackpot with my JM...identity is being protected so all the men won't go and hit on my beautiful girl on facebook: Oops, don't write "you look pretty" on this girl's wall ) I should tell jokes I know, like being a loser, never getting dates, and having arthritis as a teenager.
Let's get down to business, 5 new jokes that don't make me look like a dick
written right now! (its not now anymore when you read this...thats more of a twitter thing than a blog thing...get with it friend.)
1. Its really hard being a shy kid. So many experiences can pass you by. When I was little I never went with my friends to climb the old water tower, and now I'll never know the joy of living a carefree summer day...or the joy of hepatitis. <<--tempted to say "or the joy of watching tommy fall to his death, but I think that might be a bit "dicky"
2. Sometimes I feel like I spend too much time in bed. One time I slept for 23 hours straight, but I think I didn't really start to see it as a problem until instead of stashing playboys under my matress, I hid rations of peanut butter cups and bags to pee in.
3. When I was a kid, I never got much attention from kids at school. I often day dreamed of breaking my leg just so that kids would take time to write on my cast. Unfortunately I never broke my leg...I did get arthritis though...want to sign my cane and bottle of pain pills?
4. I don't use AIM anymore, its gotten too difficult to flirt with. They added that "your friend is typing now" feature, which seems cool until you get caught not saying something. I had a girl who blew up my spot after seeing me typing for 5 minutes...only to respond..."cool". I wanted to tell her that I thought she was pretty and that we should go out...but halfway through my typing she used a winky emoticon, so I changed my mind.
5. Watching little kids can be hard. I used to baby sit a lot, and something always came up that made the night rough. I've dealt with crying, getting locked out, and a poop right on the floor...lucky for me the parents always came home soon after the incident...or so I told them. I got busted once, apparently 6 hour old poop looks different than the fresh stuff.
There's five, I'm not sure if I accomplished the part about not looking like a d bag...but i tried.
GoodnighT
written right now! (its not now anymore when you read this...thats more of a twitter thing than a blog thing...get with it friend.)
1. Its really hard being a shy kid. So many experiences can pass you by. When I was little I never went with my friends to climb the old water tower, and now I'll never know the joy of living a carefree summer day...or the joy of hepatitis. <<--tempted to say "or the joy of watching tommy fall to his death, but I think that might be a bit "dicky"
2. Sometimes I feel like I spend too much time in bed. One time I slept for 23 hours straight, but I think I didn't really start to see it as a problem until instead of stashing playboys under my matress, I hid rations of peanut butter cups and bags to pee in.
3. When I was a kid, I never got much attention from kids at school. I often day dreamed of breaking my leg just so that kids would take time to write on my cast. Unfortunately I never broke my leg...I did get arthritis though...want to sign my cane and bottle of pain pills?
4. I don't use AIM anymore, its gotten too difficult to flirt with. They added that "your friend is typing now" feature, which seems cool until you get caught not saying something. I had a girl who blew up my spot after seeing me typing for 5 minutes...only to respond..."cool". I wanted to tell her that I thought she was pretty and that we should go out...but halfway through my typing she used a winky emoticon, so I changed my mind.
5. Watching little kids can be hard. I used to baby sit a lot, and something always came up that made the night rough. I've dealt with crying, getting locked out, and a poop right on the floor...lucky for me the parents always came home soon after the incident...or so I told them. I got busted once, apparently 6 hour old poop looks different than the fresh stuff.
There's five, I'm not sure if I accomplished the part about not looking like a d bag...but i tried.
GoodnighT
Oh yeah...I agree totally that when you're not being a jerk (with a "d") you are adorably funny!!
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