After 4 years of studying business, graduating Cum Laude, with departmental honors, and the highest deparment award (<<---ok, so maybe i'm just tooting my own horn because it feels nice to be done with school, and i'm awesome) I've realized that:
My online life is bizarre. On one hand, I want to find a job, which means having professional social media pages. On the other hand, I really want to keep pretending (<<--i use this term so that when I fail, i can say i was never trying, I'm insecure like that) to be a comedian...and use online media to talk about poop and punching baby otters. Yes I've talked about both. I may have said that the end of the season finale of 24 made me so frustrated the only thing that could make me happy again is to land a solid left hook onto the jowl of a baby sea otter, preferably in front of its mother. (I would never actually do it, I would play the video game though).
I think its unfair that employers in the business world will dock me points because I am trying to be a comedian. It would never happen the other way around.
"I see here that you're very funny, and I like that you have a diverse joke background."
"Thanks, I have worked hard to keep my material fresh, and otter abuse-less"
" Right, I only have one problem...I googled your name and i came across some disturbing posts"
"Well, college can be a little crazy..."
"No, its just that, morally, I don't think i can book someone who has pictures of themselves... shaking hands with business leaders and who makes comments about having a strong desire to... 'succeed'"
whatever, I will clean up my online presence when I realize my jokes aren't funny...or at least when I realize that even though there are enough flavors of Ramen for each day of the week, maybe i should make some money and buy chicken, and not just its flavor.
Will you hire me?
Goodnight
I don't understand who keeps marking these as "meh." This one was extremely genuinely funny! Quit being so mean, "Meh" Guy. Whoever you are.
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