So I almost performed some stand-up at an open mic at school last night. I didn't though. I went through my material and could only come up with about 2 to 3 minutes of good new stuff. Plus I promised my friend I would never tell my joke entitled "Adolf Gibson"...Its gold, but i guess referring to your bff as a combination of an anti-Semitic who used his power for evil and Adolf Hitler...can get old.
If I'm ever on Comedy Central the first joke I tell will be "Adolf Gibson"
2nd paragraphs are difficult for me. Do I follow the theme? Do I throw a curve ball? Do I start to tell a story of my childhood in little league baseball because I used a term originating from that very sport? Yes. I tried to be a pitcher for a little bit. I went through a "try-out"...the coach kept saying, "ok you don't have to throw it that hard, take some off." What he wanted to say was...can you do anything other than throw it straight at a perfectly hittable speed? I was very good at keeping the ball in the strike zone...which it turns out...makes you a terrible pitcher. It creates no confusion for the batter, just a whole lot of "hey thanks for putting it in the same spot again, at the same speed...I missed it the first time, but now i got to hit my first home run."
2nd paragraphs are difficult for me. Do I follow the theme? Do I throw a curve ball? Do I start to tell a story of my childhood in little league baseball because I used a term originating from that very sport? Yes. I tried to be a pitcher for a little bit. I went through a "try-out"...the coach kept saying, "ok you don't have to throw it that hard, take some off." What he wanted to say was...can you do anything other than throw it straight at a perfectly hittable speed? I was very good at keeping the ball in the strike zone...which it turns out...makes you a terrible pitcher. It creates no confusion for the batter, just a whole lot of "hey thanks for putting it in the same spot again, at the same speed...I missed it the first time, but now i got to hit my first home run."
I wasn't as good as I will tell my kids I was.
GOODNIGHT
I am that good. I have a t-shirt that says All-Star that proves it.
No I don't, my sister's friend stole it.
My kids are going to be better than me at everything. I'm convinced of it. I'll teach them everything I know, and by the age of 13 I'll be getting schooled...and they will be stealing my girlfriends. (my wife dies young in this scenario...its very sad, but provides me the insurance money i need to buy my kids a hot nanny...and a mini cooper)
No I don't, my sister's friend stole it.
My kids are going to be better than me at everything. I'm convinced of it. I'll teach them everything I know, and by the age of 13 I'll be getting schooled...and they will be stealing my girlfriends. (my wife dies young in this scenario...its very sad, but provides me the insurance money i need to buy my kids a hot nanny...and a mini cooper)
I think I'd rather be British, but I'll settle for a red & blue mini cooper
GOODNIGHT
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