Monkey Love Baloons

I'm not going to explain the title. One person should definitely know what it means. Three others will know after thinking about it for a bit.

Inside jokes are only funny to people who are on the inside.

Oops. Are you inside? <<--That's what she said.

That's what she said jokes are probably the opposite of an inside joke. Everybody can go chuckle house at those 4 magical words. Its becoming a little overused, its a little "your face" or "yo mamma" about it. It will always be loved and revered, but will be placed on the back burners, neglected for long periods of time. Like old people...or a gym membership.

A bunch of my friends have started to get serious about going to the gym. I'm sure it makes them healthier, but it mostly seems like an avenue to brag about waking up early. "Dude, i woke up and hit the gym at 7:30 this morning" "Really? You should have gone to power hour at 5:30 in the morning." The gym is nice, running, biking and lifting is good for the heart, mind, and soul. But something else that is nice(er) and better for the heart mind and soul... Sleep.

"Dude, I totally slept in until 11 today." "Really? You should have hit up nap time at noon."

I would like to get in better shape. 6'2". 150lbs. and a gut?...some muscle would be nice. I might not have the physique, but I feel like I'm at least good looking. a 6 out of ten. At least. But numbering is so subjective, I really don't know what number to give me. (you should comment and say 10)...

That's why for years I've been advocating...Government sanctioned numbers.

I know im not the most attractive, but I do think I am at least around a 6…but its hard to really know. That’s why I propose government sanctioned numbers:

Every couple of years you stand in front of a board who decides, officially, just how ugly you are. And you have to wear it, everywhere. It just makes everything so much easier:

“Hi I’m Chris” “Oh hi, my name is I’m prettier than you.” What’d you say your name was? Only a 4? Yea get out of here.”

Of course there would be rules, things to keep order…like its illegal to flirt with anybody who is more than two numbers higher than you. Or only three legal 10’s can be handed out in any given year. My favorite:

One day a month there will be a Sadie Hawkins dance day for uggos, where you can flirt with the pretty folk.

But I’d be breaking these rules all the time, “hey there 8, wanna go home and make a 6.5”<<--do the math, what does this make me?

This concept is where the title of my blog comes from...

When it comes to girls, perfect 10s are a lot like unicorns. I've never seen one,

but i'm optomistic they exist.

And if I ever did see one, I'd probably try to ride it.

For my mother, so she doesn't have to look anything up on urban dictionary.com [again]:

A "dime piece" is a perfect 10. Because a dime is worth 10 cents. Dimes are low on the monetary scale, but high on the sexy scale.

A "unicorn" is a mythical animal, a horse with one long horn on its head. Little girls are obsessed with them. (I should be a unicorn for halloween) <<--that's awful.

Unicorns & Dime Pieces.

Get it? cool.

I have to go win a basketball game, and then pass out without doing any homework:

GOODNIGHT